It's been a dismal week. I am struggling with my situation.
The physio has painted a picture of my future for the next few months and it isn't good. My shoulder is messy, treatment likely to be an operation and looking at 6 months recovery after that.
I have been 'advised' that going on the trek will not be good for me and will undo all the treatment I have been receiving.
The level of swelling still in my arm is bad and I am now in a sling and am not to use my arm at all.
I have lived amongst people who have been known to cut casts of arms and legs to go rodeoing before today and injuries are part and parcel of what we choose to do. Horses are big animals and at some stage you are going to get an injury of some kind.
So, over a chat with a friend and husband, it was decided that I am obviously broken, can't really make things much worse (can I?) so go on the trek, do what you can, as it could be a long time till I am right again.
But I can't even put a bridle on let alone a saddle.......
This is when I begin to realise how lucky I am to have a supportive husband who helps me so very much, as well as my good friends.
Chief is still having "parking" lessons and is trying his heart out to get it right. Charlie rode him for me Saturday and then I had a wee turn. Shocked at how nervous I was. Not about riding him but how to get off again.
I can manage it ok if there is something high enough so that I can step off without stepping or sliding down. It is easier still if there is something to grab with my left hand and someone holds the pony. RDA ramps spring to mind here.
An impromptu club ride was arranged yesterday and I was desperate to go. Insanely excited when Jan offered to help me out.
She saddled Chief for me, helped me get on and stuck with me to the end. I loved being able to ride!!
But then I completely stuffed up the dismount. Panicking of course and rushed it. Lots of pain again.
Jan and Susan unsaddled Chief, washed him down and sorted my gear for me. I am apparently stubborn and very determined as of course I was trying to do this myself.
Physio this morning after a bad nights sleep. Arm is uncomfortable and it is starting to hit me that I really have made a mess of my shoulder. But I still want to do this trek. It is what keeps my going and contemplating not being out there, well I don't want to think to hard about that.
A well meaning friend said to me that in the scheme of things, this is just a tiny blip on the radar of life, to which I totally agree.
But then she said that maybe this was a time to consider doing something new with my time, try other things even.
I did that for many years when our children were young. I did lots of other things.
Now I just want to ride my horse!
1/2 hour after writing this, I had a call from the specialist to say they had a cancellation and there is an appointment this afternoon if I wanted it.
Some things are mean to be so I said yes. I am now really nervous about what he is going to say...